So you’re in love? How precious.
Relationships are not easy to maintain, as anyone over 21 has experienced. The honeymoon stage is always fantastic, but by the time the real honeymoon hits (i.e. after marriage) the relationship has probably already plateaued. The problem is that all love has to eventually switch from the hot ‘passionate love’ to the boring old long term ‘compassionate love.’ Passionate love simply cannot be maintained and that is a fact. Not many relationships can make that transition to the different type of love, where the butterflies have stopped, unless there’s something forcing the two people to stay together – mainly kids.
A healthy sex life is crucial to a healthy relationship. Problem is that people usually start getting bored with sleeping with each other after the first few years have passed. The sex starts to dwindle down to once a week, to once a month, to ‘guaranteed on your birthday.’ Keeping things interesting is not always easy, especially if you’ve already done most things. The key to a healthy sex life doesn’t necessarily have to mean continually doing new things, it’s understanding what makes the other person feel good and consistently and efficiently giving them orgasms so they don’t have to masturbate. The rest of this website is designed to help give orgasms. Being a Lieutenant Lover Boy means that you know how to give and receive love.
There is a very interesting book out there called ‘The 5 Love Languages – by Gary Chapman.’ There is a link at the bottom of the page for more in depth reading but essentially he postulates that everyone has at least one of these love languages and if you can understand what your partner’s is then the relationship will go a lot more smoothly. Most people will probably have a bit of all five but everyone has to be strongest in at least one of them. If you can figure out what yours is, and communicate it to your partner, and also figure out what theirs is then it will really help keep the love strong.
Love language #1: Gifts. Some people feel love or give love by buying or making things to give as gifts. This love language probably has to be the most overused or underused depending on what you like. If you don’t care anything for gifts yet your partner’s love language is gifts then there’s probably going to be some problems created. People usually do what they want done for them so if your partner is buying you gifts and you don’t care for that sort of thing then they are probably telling you that it’s their love language and what they want done for them.
Love language #2: Quality Time. Some people feel love or give love by spending time with their partner. Just the simple act of being around them can instill a feeling of love. Truly the easiest love language to speak but not always easy for those busy bees out there to give or receive this one.
Love language #3: Words of Affirmation. Does your partner always say ‘I love you?’ Or want compliments? Constant reassurance? This love language is not always easy for many men to give but lots of women really speak this one. It may take a real effort for one person to give this type of love to the other if it’s not their strongest language but if you want your relationship to be healthy then it’s something you’re going to need to do.
Love language #4: Acts of Service. This is probably the most common among men. They don’t always say, ‘you look beautiful,’ or, ‘I love you,’ but they go out and mow the lawn or try to fix whatever problems his partner has. Consequently, women don’t always recognize that this is their man’s way of showing love. Having a healthy dialogue about these languages of love can open your partner’s eyes up to how you express your feelings.
Love language #5: Physical Touch. Affection, some people love it, some people can do without it. What does your partner like? This one isn’t all that tough to figure out but again may not be easy to implement if it is not your natural language of love.
If you partner has a completely different language of love then yours then it will probably create friction from time to time as neither of you are understanding how the other is showing their love. Understanding this book can really help open up a dialogue and plant a seed in your head next time you see a bouquet of flowers and think, ‘what a stupid thing to buy,’ and yet you know how much your partner loves gifts. Just being aware of these things is the first step to implementing them.